Mr. Face Plant or It Pays to Pay Attention

Down the street and oh so slow,

Riding to a place I know.


Going for a coffee and a croissant,

What more could anyone want?


Street repairs not yet made,

What happens to taxes I paid?


A bump, a rut, and then a lump,

And all at once, I go thump.


Face and elbows on the ground,

Pieces of my glasses spread around.


Whoops, wham … damn!

Stupid Bike


I go straight as the bike flies right,

Flat on my face with all my might – what a fright!


Bloody helmet, clothes, and nose,

This is not the plan I chose.


Off to St. Pete’s fine ER,

Good thing it’s not too far.


OMG – why look at you,

What the hell did you do?


Catskan, x-ray, poke, and prod

Have some morphine then you’ll nod


Nose is broken, elbows busted, cuts galore,

Bruises, tears, and some more.


Here, have a couple nice new slings,

Radial fractures are bad things.


Tooth is loose but not too bad

Oh my goodness, this is sad.


After all that I’m told,

The Erie Canal ride goes on hold.


Can’t fix you here, get off that bed,

Here you go to Albany Med.


Mohawk Ambulance for ride,

With an EMT at my side.


To ask me for more revelations,

Date of birth, height, weight, and explanations!


Here we have a center for trauma

I guess I qualify for all this drama


You’ll need some stitches in every place,

In your mouth and on your face.


Needles here and over there,

In your mouth and through your hair.


You’ll not feel a thing or so I’m told,

Maybe cause you way too old.


Now this will pinch,

As I sew another inch.


Cheek is done and now some more,

When I stitch that it’ll sure be sore!


Hope that nose comes back to center,

If not, we’ll re-stitch and bend ‘er.


Drugs you’ll get ‘til you can’t stop,

Amox/K Clav and Chlorhexidine at one pop.


And then Tramadol and Gabaoentin,

With some Bacitracin thrown in the bin.


As much as I love my bike.

Maybe I should get a trike




Filed under safety

3 responses to “Mr. Face Plant or It Pays to Pay Attention

  1. Gail Golderman

    I’m so very sorry :-(

  2. johnwrodat

    Fun writing, especially “Drugs you’ll get ‘til you can’t stop, Amox/K Clav and Chlorhexidine at one pop.” Sorry it took such an un-fun event to inspire it.

    Checked out a TerraTrike just a couple weeks ago, with exactly this sort of concern in mind.

    You have my sympathy!

  3. Big Al

    You should try hip hop

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